A Rare Record Sets The Tone

Crista Cowan 0:00

When Bubba Page walked into our podcast studio, he was holding a rare piece of family history in his hands. An original 1960 vinyl record featuring his grandfather Sheryl as the bass singer for an international championship quartet. Bubba grew up watching his grandpa play the organ completely by ear and making up words as he sang. Bubba's grandma taught him how to jitterbug right in her tiny living room. Music and joyful connection are in his DNA. But two years ago, Bubba faced a painful life transition, a divorce that meant he would now only have his eight children half of the time. And suddenly every single moment mattered. Bubba realized that passing down family values and faith and resilience couldn't be left to chance or passive weekend routines. So he took that same musical spark he inherited from his grandparents and transformed it into Sunday afternoon jam sessions, daily habits, and intentional life lessons for his kids before they leave the nest. In this episode, Bubba shares how leaning into his roots has helped him heal, how his great-grandfather's depression era work ethic shapes his home today, and how we can all become more intentional parents and grandparents, even through some of life's hardest chapters. Whether you're holding on to old family records or searching for practical ways to build deeper roots with the people you love most, you're gonna want to stick around for this episode. Enjoy my conversation with Bubba Page. Hi, I'm Krista Kellen, and this is the podcast where telling your family stories can help create a deeply connected family. Welcome to Stories That Live In Us. Well, Bubba, I'm so excited to have this conversation with you and to get to know you a little bit better. Thanks for being here.

Bubba Page 1:55

Absolutely. This is awesome. And what a cool studio. I know you can't see this from the other side of

Growing Up Between Utah And California

Bubba Page 2:00

the camera, but this is rad.

Crista Cowan 2:01

It's a super fun space. We're really grateful that Ancestry uh allows us to film here and to have these conversations because they matter to the family history work that we're doing. Um, but with you in particular, I would just love to start with hearing a little bit about how you how and where you grew up.

Bubba Page 2:17

No, yeah. So I was born here in Utah.

Crista Cowan 2:19

Me too.

Bubba Page 2:20

So that's unique. And then grew up in California. And I grew up in California. So here we go. So I grew up, it was um Murray's whenever where I was born, but I I lived in Midvale, Utah for about the first six years of my life. And then my family moved to the San Francisco Bay Area.

Crista Cowan 2:35

Okay.

Bubba Page 2:36

So uh I call San Francisco home, the Bay Area home. And that's where I spent most of my time until the end of my junior year of high school. And then my dad got a job change and went to Arizona. Okay. So I ended up finishing just my senior year in Mesa, Arizona, before I came out to BYU and then lived in Brazil for two years on a volunteer service mission for my church, uh, the Church of Jesus Christ Latter-day Saints. And then um, and then I never left. I came back to BYU, got married, eight kids later, and still right here. There you go.

Crista Cowan 3:10

Mountain View or Mesa High. Mountain View. Okay. Go Toros. All of my best friends were at WorToros. Oh my gosh, that's so funny. So I was born here. My parents were both born and raised in Los Angeles. Yeah. They came up to BYU. Yeah. And I was born while they were going to school. And then they moved back to California. So all four of my younger siblings born in California. We lived in LA. We lived in Turlock, if you know where that is in the Central Valley. Um, it's kind of by Modesto. Okay. Yeah. And then uh my, let's see, eighth grade year, we moved up to Portland. And then the middle of my junior year, we moved up to Washington.

Bubba Page 3:44

Oh my gosh. So you moved up.

Crista Cowan 3:46

So yeah, a ton. So I left home 10 days after high school graduation because I was done with my parents dictating where I got.

Bubba Page 3:54

You were done. You're an adult. I wasn't actually.

Crista Cowan 3:57

I was still 17. I didn't turn 18 for five more months.

Bubba Page 4:00

Oh my gosh.

Crista Cowan 4:01

But um, they let me go away to school early.

Bubba Page 4:03

And but you said you were the oldest daughter here. So you had some oldest daughter energy. A lot of that, yeah. Sure. You know, I know you can't see this in the studio, but I brought my two daughters, right? Oldest daughter energy here, middle daughters here, Priya and Davy.

Crista Cowan 4:18

Love that.

Bubba Page 4:18

I love Priya.

Crista Cowan 4:19

Oh, so fun. And I love when people bring families into the studio because the conversations that we have are sometimes stories that they haven't heard before. Exactly. So they get to hear them firsthand.

Bubba Page 4:28

I wanted them to come and experience this with me anyway. I love that. Um, so where do you fall in birth order? I'm the youngest of four. Okay. So one older sister, very, very close to, and my two older brothers. Um, I shared a room with my second older brother, and uh which was hilarious because I don't think he loved that. Okay. As an older sister, I can which I understand, either what I'm to share. Um, but we're still close to this day. I mean, all the siblings, I'm the only one living you lives in Utah. Okay. So we have another Mesa. We uh my oldest brother's in Mesa, then we have Georgia, my next brother, and then my sister lives in our old hometown in Walnut Creek, California.

Crista Cowan 5:08

That's amazing. So with the moving around, yeah, uh, did all four of your grandparents stay here in Utah?

Bubba Page 5:14

All of them.

Meeting Grandpa Through Music

Crista Cowan 5:15

And did you know all four of them?

Bubba Page 5:16

Yes. Yeah. So I was able to grow up with those grandparents. Um, and you know, we're gonna talk about one of them today. So on this album cover, I had to bring this. One thing. Because I mean, first of all, how many of us have even held these old records? And I know my kids who are sitting over there, they don't really the first time I showed them they're like this, yeah. And so the original record right here um of my grandpa and the Evans Quartet. So this is my mom's, let's see if you can see this sign. My mom's dad, um, Cheryl Bextead, was the bass singer of the 1960 International Quartet Champions, the Evans Quartet. That's right. And they lived in Midvale in the same home that my mom was like born into. Yeah. Uh up until my grandma had to go to Aness's living facility. So, I mean, a very long time. It was like 68 years or something like that. And um, and then my dad's parents, uh, they spent a little bit of time in Idaho, but most of the time was were right here in Utah.

Crista Cowan 6:18

Okay.

Bubba Page 6:19

Homer and June Page. You gotta love these names.

Crista Cowan 6:22

Homer and June. What were the other grandparents?

Bubba Page 6:24

Homer and June Page, and then my my mom's parents are Cheryl and Shirley Bextead. Literally, Shirley and Shirley found each other, got married, they went to Jordan High, the beat diggers. I mean, it's just so fun to hear hear their their history for me to get to know them. And it's sad because I'll be honest, I don't know a ton about my great-grandparents. I know little snippets of stories like my my dad's dad was just like this workaholic. He was climbing trees in his 90s, you know, picking fruit from the trees and talking about like straightening nails so that they could reuse them. It was the depression. Oh my gosh, it was amazing. I mean, they would take wood from uh like chicken coops and help to build the local churches with reuse it and reuse the materials. Like some of the stories were fantastic. Come to find out in our newlywed townhome in South Salt Lake, we were going to this church, and my parents um came to visit, and and it was a brand new townhome. I had built it even before I had just built it when we were engaged. We weren't even married yet. And uh, and then we moved in after we were married. The same church we were going to as a family was the one my great-grandfather helped to build. And you didn't I had no idea until my parents came and said, You're on this street with this building. So it's been so fascinating as I've you know now live or have purchased properties or whatever, that that my ancestry is all over the place. And I have to think that that is not by coincidence. No, not at all. That there are moving parts on the other side of this veil that I can't see that are you know making this kind of thing happen. And I truly believe in angels on the other side and whether you call them guardian angels or whatnot, you know, that these ancestors are here, they're watching, you know, me and my kids, they're protecting us, they're maybe whispering, you know, thoughts in my mind. Um, and I think it's been it's been inspiring to kind of think through that.

Crista Cowan 8:26

I love that. Yeah, it's so interesting because I so of my four grandparents, only one of them was LDS.

Bubba Page 8:31

Oh, no way.

Crista Cowan 8:32

Yeah. So my dad was raised in a part member home, my mother was a convert to the church. And so, like just that one little line. And as a genealogist, as a I was a baby genealogist. Like I started doing family history when I was a kid because I was a super nerd. And um and I was always so focused on the other three lines because everybody else was working on grandma's lines, right? And so I just didn't learn a lot about it. Well, I didn't move to Utah till after school. I moved here to work for BYU and immediately was like, wait, like I was born here and I'm pretty sure I have family from here, and so I started wanting to learn more. I now live in Pleasant Grove. Yeah, and the first day we moved there, I walked out onto the balcony of my condo the next morning and I looked at Mount Tempanogus and I just burst into tears. Like I felt like I had come home. That's incredible. And then I realized my great-grandmother, who I didn't know, but I knew her husband. But my great-grandmother looked at this mountain every day of her life. She was born right here in Pleasant Grove and lived her whole life here until she married the boy from Lehi and moved to Idaho, and then they moved to California. And like, wow, and so to all of a sudden feel like I had a place because growing up moving so much, I had never felt that before. That is special. And so, yeah, like I absolutely believe that like we end up where we belong.

Bubba Page 9:47

I think we and I hope, I hope that as we try to pay attention to what God's trying to speak to us, that we'll be guided to those certain places. And maybe it's we land in a certain spot, we don't know why, but we're there to help someone, or we're there to learn something, or we're there to reconnect, like you

Jitterbug Lessons And Home Traditions

Bubba Page 10:05

did with that with that view. I think that's amazing.

Crista Cowan 10:07

Yeah. So uh as you were growing up, knowing your grandparents, like, were there stories they told or things that kind of helped shape your family culture?

Bubba Page 10:15

Absolutely. So my gr my grandmother, Grandma Shirley Bexted, she was a jitterbug girl. Okay. So jitterbug, to my understanding, was a little bit like swing dancing. Uh-huh. And so we would, she, my grandmother, would teach me how to do the jitterbug. And so we would do that in her little tiny house. And we're talking tiny house, like maybe 1200 square feet, right? And how many kids did she raise in that house? You know what? She actually only had one. My mom was an only child. Okay. Which is a fascinating other side of the story. Um, and I have so many questions that I don't think I ever got answered while they were living. Um, but so my mom was an only child. She was basically raised with her cousins. Okay. And what's interesting is my so Cheryl and Shirley, wonderful people. Um but they drank and smoked and and didn't do the church thing. That wasn't their deal. But to my understanding, my grandfather, um, Cheryl Bextead, always paid his tithing. Interesting. Which of all the things you're gonna do, pay your time because he knew and felt like that was always a blessing for he and his family. And so uh in near closer to the end of his life, he did end up quit quitting smoking and he'd stopped drinking. But he was never active in our in the church, never active going, but he would do genealogy work and the uh what was it called? The old film. He would do microfilm as a service. And it was fascinating to watch him kind of connect in those certain ways. Um my grandma, she I mean, she died at 94 and smoked till the day she died. It was hilarious. Go her or Virginia Slims, right? What were your grandparent names for them? Oh uh it was just grandma grandpa. Okay, yeah, we didn't have nicknames, which is funny because both sets of my kids, you know, my parents and their and their mom's parents, all have nicknames. Yeah, um, Nana and Poppy are my side, and Mimi and Grandpa are the other side. I guess grandma's normal. Um but anyway, so growing up with them, so she would teach me the jitterbug, which now I've had a chance to do a little bit of swing dancing with my girls, but I just feel like just the dancing, the music in the home, we have a little plaque right next to our kitchen sink that says, This kitchen is meant for dancing. And do we do it all the time? No. But you know, it's something that reminds us when the music turns on, we can have fun and be goofy and play around. I love that. Um, which is which is a fun element. So I feel like she passed along kind of that dancing jitterbug, right? And uh, and I remember even when I was a teenager, um, I ended up performing as a swing dancer. And uh what was fascinating is I got to dance. If she ever watches this, it'll be hilarious because I thought she was the cutest. She was a year older, and um, and then there was another partner, and and both of the girls were a year older that we were seventh grade, they were eighth grade. We thought that was pretty cool. I was a seventh grade boy to dance with a cute eighth grader, right? Um, and we performed for different like uh church activities or performances, which were so much fun. Um, I was never a professional, I never like competed, none of that. But from a music standpoint, um obviously having my grandfather, um where did I put so having grandpa beck, grandpa beckstead be in this, he always was playing the piano. He had this little organ, I still have it to this day. So when they were moving out of the home, uh I mean it's very big and heavy, but this this organ I had to keep in the family. I just had to because it reminded me of him. Because every time we'd go and um visit their home, he would sit on the the the organ and play. And he'd sing along in his his bass baritone voice. And he never had music. He played by ear. Wow. And so as he played, we would sit around and he would sing, we would listen, we'd sing along if we knew the words. And if he didn't know the words, he would make them up. I've still got some recordings. My dad does that. Unfortunately, he does it with church hymns in the middle of church. Oh, that's amazing. I just loved it because I didn't know as a kid he'd make it up. I didn't know any different, right? But then, you know, as an adult listening back to some of the videos we have of him singing, it's hilarious because he'll just make it up. Yeah. Um, but I do feel like I I'm you can probably hear my voice, not a professional singer, a little more raspy. Sure. So, you know, a little more Don Don K not Don Cash, uh Johnny Cash type of vibe. Um, but uh music has continued to be an element of my life. I ended up joining a band in high school.

Crista Cowan 14:46

Okay.

Bubba Page 14:47

And uh you'll understand this. Hopefully, some of those who are watching. The main guy who put it together, his name was Jared. And and he was LDS, and then the drummer, he was LDS, and the um the bass player was not. And we played mostly cover songs from the 90s, you know, kind of thing. Uh some some red hot chili peppers or some Dave Matthews band or some you know, Sublime kind of things, you know, maybe questionable to my parents' you know, musical standards. But then he would write his own music, and so we play. He called the name of the band The Brothers of Jared.

Crista Cowan 15:24

Okay.

Bubba Page 15:25

And um, and it was it was just so fun to go and play for the high school or go play for a please tell me there is footage of that somewhere.

Crista Cowan 15:31

Oh, absolutely.

Bubba Page 15:32

We might need to get a little b-roll video. I did have bleached blonde hair with Puka Shell necklaces, um, but that's that was the style of the day. And but anyway, so music obviously was an important place. So there was a photo of my dad with I believe it's my oldest brother, young, two or three years old, and my dad's playing the guitar. And um I believe I may have a picture with him playing the guitar, but he ended up selling the guitar to help pay for expenses. He was going through medical school, he ended up becoming a podiatrist. And um and I remember seeing that picture and being so sad that he had to sell his beloved guitar because my dad was also in a band, and his mom, June Page, she was so scared of him because it was kind of hippie era. Yeah, right? He she was so scared that he was gonna become a hippie and go down this wrong path. She hid his bandana and necklaces. Oh my gosh. And he was going to go and perform, and he couldn't find him, and his mom was just, mm-hmm. I'm not telling him where they are. I'm not gonna have him wear these, you know, these hippie clothes. A little subtle control. Oh, a hundred percent. And my dad was one of the best kids ever, like never did anything wrong, was always a good kid, and the oldest of five in his in his family. Um, but his band name was The Flight of Icarus. Okay, which is the super mythology. Yes, yes. So, you know, I I didn't realize this until thinking back now, where you know, my dad was in this band, he played a little bit of guitar, he was the vocalist, beautiful voice. My mom sang in every choir I've ever, you know, any church we've ever been to, she's always been in the choirs, beautiful voice as well. Um, I didn't get their talent in the voice department necessarily. But like to be able to be in a band and play, and I still, when I bought my first guitar, I made sure that if I sold that guitar, I replaced it with a different one. I had to have a guitar in my home. And uh, although we don't play it every day, but I've got my kids over here. I do try to get them to come and play with me sometimes. And um, so my son plays the piano, my daughter loves to sing, I've got another one who likes to play the violin. Um, I do try to get bass pianos like the bass line in our home

Sunday Jam Sessions With Eight Kids

Bubba Page 17:50

so that they have some fundamentals of music. But then we typically every Sunday afternoon we'll play together. And I'll pick up the guitar, my son will play on the piano, and if I can convince the girls, they'll come and sing with me. My son also plays the drums, and we did instead of a full-blown drum set, we got those electric ones.

Crista Cowan 18:06

Oh, uh-huh.

Bubba Page 18:06

And it's a good quality with a speaker, and it sounds amazing, and it takes up way less space, and he can put on headphones so the neighbors and I don't have to hear everything. But music has been a key component in our lives. I know there was a a time frame while child rearing was in full effect with eight children. Um, you know, by the way, I don't know if I've mentioned that. Eight children. How old's the oldest? Six-year-old twins are are the youngest, boy girl twins, and we have a 16-year-old boy. Okay. So four boys, four girls. It is my what I call my beautiful chaos. I absolutely love it.

Crista Cowan 18:44

It could be not just a band, a whole orchestra.

Bubba Page 18:46

We could have a whole orchestra if I can convince these guys to keep playing with me. So Sundays afternoon are kind of our our band time. And uh what's been nice is that the kids are now talented enough to play just about any song. Not, you know, perfectly and not every riff or anything like that. But uh, we use an app called Cortify, you know, hashtag NOF sponsored. Um, because it will it will tell us the chords of what they are, whether it's you're playing on the piano or or on the guitar. And and so any radio song that they want to play, we pick it up, we can play it, and within a minute or two, we're good to go.

Crista Cowan 19:20

Love that.

Bubba Page 19:20

And it brings, you know, it brings joy to my heart for sure. Yeah.

Crista Cowan 19:25

Does anybody play by ear like your grandpa did?

Bubba Page 19:28

So um my son has has they've never really had formal training. Yeah, we had uh maybe a piano teacher for three or four months, and then we've been using another app um called Usition. And so do they play by ear? Kind of. You know, they try to figure that out, but Usician really has helped them to learn the correct chords, the you know, where things are on the piano. Reading music isn't their forte. Sure. Um not in the traditional sense because these these applications now show you like where to put your fingers versus the notes. So we're trying to transition them from one to read music completely. That's the goal.

Crista Cowan 20:06

Okay. Any of them perform like school choirs or absolutely yeah.

Bubba Page 20:11

So uh my drummer son, uh, he was in the band this last year um and played on the you know percussion. Um, my daughter's been in the choir and loves the choir. Um, and then the younger ones are just getting into like where they could start choir and things like that. So that's the hope is to keep it going. And what do you think Grandpa Sherl thinks about that? Oh, he loves it. He absolutely, you know, there have been times where I've honestly felt his presence in our home when we are just having a good time as a family, playing around. We've been asked to perform at church, you know, events or in in the actual church sacrament meetings. And I love doing it because of the time we spend practicing together. Not about the performance. It was all about the time practicing because that's quality family time. The kids are doing something that they hopefully are enjoying. Um, I absolutely enjoy it, and then it's a memory that we can keep forever. Yeah. So I I love it. And are you recording some of these sessions? So you have footage of that too. Absolutely. I've got it all. I've posted it on social media.

Crista Cowan 21:16

You find it on Instagram. Love that. So, like music, like it's this beautiful analogy for like working together and like everybody has their part, and how that can

Divorce And The Shift To Intention

Crista Cowan 21:30

make beautiful music. And so, as you think about eight kids, right? And um, you also haven't discussed, like, you recently went through a divorce, and like so it was chaos probably before, it's probably a different kind of chaos now. How does music like, is there a lesson learned there?

Bubba Page 21:47

Yeah, I mean, if you think of uh for me, an analogy with music and the harmony that it can play together. Um look, when when you have two kids, it's wild, right? When you have four kids, it's wild. You have eight kids, it's a lot. And but But a lot in such a beautiful way because everyone has a part to play. And we were, I was just telling my kids driving over here that my my oldest son, we only have two more years. And then he's out of the house and he'll most likely choose to serve a mission. And then he'll be in college and gone. And the dynamics of the home will change. It doesn't mean it's better or worse. It just means it will change. And so that harmony will change slightly. And uh what I've found is that obviously each child is born with their own personality. We could be raising them the exact same way. So true. And yet each individual child has their own person in them. And it's such a beautiful thing to see and to try and build what it is that is inside them. I want so desperately for them to find what they it is that they love. I want so, you know, there's some of the kids who have my son and daughter, for example, they really love tumbling. And uh, and so uh tumbling, and now my daughter's on the cheer team. She made a varsity cheer team as a freshman, which is wild. That's amazing. And so they've just been working so hard at something that they've been passionate about. My son made it to the national American team. He's going to China to represent the US in November in his tumbling. And as the other kids are growing, I just want them to find what they're passionate about. Um, because I think it's important for them to grasp onto something that means something to them. And it doesn't mean they have to be the best athlete, it doesn't mean they have to be the best musician. Whether they're going to the Olympics or not, I don't care. I just want them to find something that they love, that they can work hard at something because there's the lessons learned of working hard, of being coached, of being either on a team or an individual sport and music, even learning those unique skills. It's like a new language.

Crista Cowan 23:48

Yeah.

Bubba Page 23:49

I pay these kids for every hundred days. Oh, I should show the picture, Davy.

Crista Cowan 23:54

Yeah.

Bubba Page 23:54

Um, every hundred days that they do on Duolingo as a streak. Okay. I pay them $50. And so I literally took this morning. Here she is. You're probably not gonna be able to see this. 200 day streaks. Woo-hoo! That's amazing. So she's gonna get 50 bucks today in cash because she has been doing Spanish on Duolingo. So so these are just these life skills that I'm hoping to instill. It's hard work. I know they don't want to always go to practice. I know they don't always want to do Duolingo or whatever it is. Um, but it's it's even doing something when you don't want to sometimes that can really help you to achieve more grit. Yeah. There was a book that I read called Grit. Um, and I think it's a phenomenal baseline for parents to help teach kids. We work outside, we work in the garage, they help me wash the cars. Like, you know, do we have uh people who come and help us in our home as a single dad with eight kids? Absolutely. I have cleaning people come every other week. Okay, I'm a single woman with no kids and I have a cleaning person that comes every week. Worth it, worth every penny. But but there's elements of Saturday is working day, right? They just know it. Saturday's working day, yes, we're gonna have fun, but Saturday is working day because we are going to work for two hours doing some kind of project. Yeah. And uh because they need to know the value of that work. And to me, it's the same thing about instilling in them the practice with music or with language or with sports. And, you know, I bring this type of stuff up because you know, was there that intention prior to divorce? Yes. But now that I only have them 50% of the time, uh, it makes my mind think a lot more intentionally. And I hate to say that because it's embarrassing to even admit that I've had to even become more intentional because I know and now I only have half that time. So, you know, my son, for example, 16 years old at 18, he'll most likely be out of the out of the home. We're not kicking him out, but that's just kind of the likely process. I look at that next two years, and technically I have one year, you know, every other week, kind of a thing. And when I think about that with each one of my children, I mean, obviously it breaks my heart. Um you you never sign up for something that uh uh you know, being a father that you'll only be able to do half your time. That's just not something I ever uh desired. Um, because I'm a full-time dad. That's that is my ultimate priority in goal in life. Sorry. Um still something that hurts, right? Um I just think that the gift of fatherhood and motherhood is just such a blessing that God give gives us. Um, and for for those of us who've had an opportunity to to do that in this life, I believe that those who haven't in this life will absolutely have a chance in the next life too. Um but I just love it. I absolutely love it. And it's something that even though it's crazy and it's chaotic and it's hard sometimes, and it stretches, you know, my patience to its maximum sometimes. Um, I wouldn't give it up for anything. Yeah. Um anyway, so yes, uh, it's almost been two years officially um since the divorce has taken place. And um life has absolutely changed. There's no doubt about it. Uh, rebuilding after something like a divorce, which I would never wish upon anyone to have to go through. Um there's something that I can be grateful for if I look at the brights, if I can if I can see the glass half full in such a negative situation, the glass half full is what God has shown me about myself and the deeper learning of my own need for healing. Um and and as I've had to dive deeper into processing feelings and emotions and and trying to become the better father, uh, to become the better, you know, friend, or to become the better son, even for my with my parents. Um it's been an eye-opening experience that I don't know if I would have taken as deep of a dive without having to have gone through a hellish experience, such as a divorce. And um, although we have uh a wonderful, amicable uh relationship, and we're able to uh go to games and sports and performances together, and and that has been, I'm so grateful that we've been able to work uh work that out with their with their mom. Um, because I hear the horror stories of other experiences, and and that has been a huge blessing, not just for for me, but for my own children. I think that uh, you know, speaking with them in the room, I hope they they recognize that both their mom and I love them so much that we're willing to do whatever it takes to have that relationship to where we can we can co-parent well. And although it's not perfect, it it does feel like that's been a massive blessing. And if there are people who have gone through this before, if I can just plead with you, plead with you, um for the kids' sake and for your own healing's sake, like whatever bitterness or anger, anger you may have deep inside you for for whatever reason that it happened, your goal is to come get over that. Your goal is to give it to God and to allow him to heal your heart. And these are things that can be overcome. And and it doesn't mean that maybe there won't be a scar left behind to remind you to maybe not repeat things of the past, but those things can be gone and a new heart can be given to you. And I have felt that. And that change of heart has been uh I mean, I'm just so grateful. It has been such a blessing to have that kind of change of heart. Anyway, I've been on a tangent, but um to be a father, to be a son, and I and maybe if I could take another minute, my

Grandparents Moving Close Changes Everything

Bubba Page 29:50

parents last year decided to move here half the time. They've been outside of I've never lived in the same state as them as an adult.

Crista Cowan 29:57

Wow.

Bubba Page 29:58

Um, they've been in Arizona and they've been serving on missions and working and traveling. And last year they made the choice to come and be here in Utah with me um half the time. I'm trying to convince them to come fold. I'm trying, I'm working on it.

Crista Cowan 30:14

Hey, I just got my parents to move here. Oh, I love it. They just bought a house three blocks from me. Oh my gosh. They have also never lived in the same state with me as an adult.

Bubba Page 30:22

I am so grateful. I know some people may have different experiences with their parents. I absolutely am so grateful that they're here. Um, not just for their service, because that is a huge element that they're giving to me. And I know they know they're needed and wanted because single dad with eight is a lot, and we're trying to go in four places at once, it's a lot. Um, and they've been phenomenal at helping. But for them to get to know my children at the depth that they are now, it's different than their entire the rest of my children's lives. They they've never had them this close. And um, when I think about the ancestry, they're now influencing my children in a positive way that I didn't even know was possible because it was 20 years of not having them around, right? And and when you go and visit a grandparent, and and there's nothing wrong with grandparents, you're out of state, but here's the difference when you go and visit, you're on vacation mode. And so you get to see these grandchildren during vacation. When you live by them and you're there when they get home from after school, or you're at all the games or performances or school plays or whatever it is, you are going to see the children at their best and at their worst. And I think the element and showing them love as a grandparent when they're in whatever it is, their best or their worst, and in between, um that is so special. And I know my children, they feel the love from their nana and poppy. Um, and they know that there is, look at this, you know, healthy marital relationship as well. And they're, you know, it's 53 or four years now that they've that they've done this. And so, you know, for me, I believe in a covenantal marriage relationship. And one of my biggest worries, uh, concerns of going through a divorce is that they might think that I took that lightly, or that I didn't put that as the ultimate importance. And I I want them to know how deeply important a covenantal marriage relationship is, and that I made promises to not, you know, to my spouse, but also to my God that and those promises I call covenants, right? I covenanted with my God to obey and try and follow to the best of my abilities his commandments. I have not been perfect, but I feel like those covenants are what I strive to keep and to continue to keep. And I I want to make sure that my kids know how valuable and important those covenants are and that they should strive to have that similar covenantal relationship. I mean, you know, we were married in the in the temple, and I know that for some may watching, they may not understand the value and importance that it gave me of uh being sealed together and and making those covenants. And um I just I hope uh, as my children, maybe one day we'll watch this. I've got two here, and the rest of the six aren't here. Um, that they just can hear the testimony of my heart that when I make promises to God, I do everything in my power to keep them. And and I want them to know that importance.

Crista Cowan 33:43

Because those promises extend to them.

Bubba Page 33:45

They extend to them. Yeah. And we will be sealed in my belief and faith forever, for eternities. My children and I will be together forever, so long as I keep my covenants. And and so uh ultimate goals are to be able to have those covenants kept forever, and to be able to have my children be a part of me forever into the eternities, well beyond when I'm dead and gone. Um anyway, that's a little uh well.

Crista Cowan 34:15

Thank you. Thank you for your testimony. Not and and you're right, like a lot of this audience is not LDS, but I think the the value of covenants, the value of having faith, right? Whatever it is you believe in, believe in it and make sure that your children know you believe in it. Um and this concept of having your parents around, I think I love that they are developing those relationships with your kids. I love that that they're getting to see them at their best and their worst. There's there is something really powerful about that. I spent the first 13 years living near my grandparents, and then the rest of my life, like it was vacation mode, either me going to see them or them coming to see me. And it changed the nature of our relationship. But by the time I was an adult, my grandmother lived uh to be 96 and she lived in LA in the same house my dad grew up in. My, you know, and literally I would drive down every other month and spend like I would leave after work on Friday, drive all night, show up at her door at like two in the morning and spend the weekend with her, drive home all night, Sunday night, so I could be home for work on Monday. But like those moments to spend with her well into my 30s and 40s, like so important to me. Um, so those grandparent relationships, like they matter.

Bubba Page 35:28

Totally.

Crista Cowan 35:28

And and so to have them make that choice to be closer to your kids and closer to you, I think that's just such a, I mean, maybe a little bit of a sacrifice, but so many blessings.

Bubba Page 35:39

They are sacrificing so much. I mean, think about it. They're in a retired life. They can do whatever they want, whenever they want, go wherever they want. And yet they're coming and being home after school with the kids. And we got my gr my dad sitting here with, you know, one or two of the kids helping with homework, my mom sitting here with one or two of the kids doing homework while I'm trying to, you know, work out snacks and stuff with our nanny and get making sure that work's being done. It has been such a fun dynamic to have them in our lives. And and they won't be around forever. And that's sad to even say out loud. I think we'll have them here for a long time still, but but someday they won't be here. And I want the relationship with my children and them to have been so uh thoughtfully, you know, curated because of that experience together. The relationship was so deep that when my kids are saying, you know, their prayers to Heavenly Father at night, that they may feel their Nana and Poppy come and be with them. Or when they're going through the hard times, that they may envision that they're there supporting them because they watched them do it while they were here. And so when they're on the other side of the veil, that they're still going to be there supporting. And um those are just the types of relationships. I just hope everyone, and I know not everyone can have that.

Saying I Love You Out Loud

Bubba Page 37:00

Um do you want to know a shocking status?

Crista Cowan 37:02

Do you want to know a shocking statistic? Please, please. 53% of Americans cannot even name all four of their grandparents. Oh no. Yeah. Like, and that breaks my heart because, and not just because and not because I had a perfect relationship with my grandparents. My dad's parents, I was super close to. They sacrificed a lot, they spent a lot of time with me. My mom's mom was very withdrawn. Um, she was a young widow and raised my mom and her sisters, you know, through the rest of their teenage years alone. And um, she had, you know, she had some hard things happen in her life that just made her an emotionally distant person. Um, she was like, I could show up on her doorstep and she would welcome me in, but I think I can count on one hand the number of times she told me she loved me. Um and and yet, and so like everybody's relationships are different, right? Like I had a guest um who her pair of grandparents got divorced when her mom was young, and she literally like met her grandpa just a few times and knew nothing about him. Like, so everybody's family dynamics are different. And so I I just like I'm just so impressed with what your parents have done because they made an intentional, conscious choice and continue to make that choice, and you also allowed them in. Which that has to go both ways. So I just think that's so beautiful. And you think about the ways that that will ripple through generations, right? Like you told the story earlier of your great-grandfather straightening nails and using reclaimed one to build a church, right? Like, and you're teaching your kids how to work. And I think, you know, back then they had to work. Now we have to make intentional choices to work. Back then, people lived in community and those relationships for good or bad just kind of existed. Now people make intentional choices to be in relationships with each other. So we live in a really different world, but I think that there's still such a great opportunity to build those relationships, to build that character and to continue to affect generations positively.

Bubba Page 38:59

I hope too that if you're listening to this right now, you know, think about the last time you said I love you to your family.

Crista Cowan 39:05

Yeah.

Bubba Page 39:05

Say to your grandchildren, to your spouse, to your own kids. When was the last time? And if it wasn't in the last 24 to 48 hours, call them up right now or go give them a hug, look them in the eye and say, I love you. Because you just never know when you won't have a chance to do that. And uh, you know, there's a woman I, you know, I am divorced, so I have been in the dating world.

Crista Cowan 39:27

Good luck with that. I've been in the dating world a very long time.

Bubba Page 39:32

We could do a whole other podcast on that, right? So, you know, I was just talking to her about her family, and she mentioned that uh, you know, saying I love you is not part of the their dad's dynamic, right? Um, and and it made me sad because you know, my dad, uh super hard worker and was gone a lot from work, but I always knew he loved me. He would say he loved me, I would get hugs. It wasn't there wasn't that distance, you know. And and I so I felt that, which is one of the reasons I still have a close relationship with my parents, I think, is because they were loving and caring. And and although my mom and I spent more time together, I was the youngest child, so I was alone with just my mom most of the time while my dad was working. Um, we became really, really close. I would go to the grocery store with her, and it was just fun because we could go and I got to pick the music and she would buy me a treat or whatever it was, right? Um, but but the elements of saying I love you and hugs, hugging, you know, this woman who I was at a date with, she said um she kind of had to force when she sees her siblings to say, like prompt them and say, I'm going to hug you now because I haven't seen you in so long. And they'd be kind of awkwardly like side hug. And I'm like, oh, that's so sad. Like, come on, we're family. And I know some people feel uncomfortable. But anyway, the more love that we can express in the best way we can, uh, it it will ripple. And I think I hope my kids know. I hug every yeah, I try to hug everybody, you know. It's one of those that I want them to know that showing and expressing love and affection is inappropriate ways, is a positive experience. And I tell them I love them. Uh, and as a father, there's a book. Um, Meg Meeker, I believe, is is the author. It's called Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters. Highly, highly recommend this book. Um, if you're a spouse reading this, buy it for your husband. Um what it's so valuable. Strong fathers, though, some of the core principles that she talks about is that we as, and this this can go from mothers to but the more healing we can do as adults, then the the better we will be able to respond and handle maybe the emotional, uh uh tumultuous times that our children have. Yeah. If our child comes to us and they're flustered or angry or upset, and then we react to that same with that same level of energy, will they ever come back and respond to us? Maybe, maybe not. But probably not. So, how do we stay grounded and healed, heal our own selves so that, you know, we're not getting defensive and we're not taking things personally, even if it feels like an attack, especially as a parent, how can we look at our children and accept what they're going through for what it is and be there as this grounded individual that can allow their emotion and make it a safe place for them to share that emotion. And although I'm not perfect at staying grounded every time, I have been able to have a unique perspective. And I hope this strong father, strong daughters, if I can create a safe environment for my daughters or sons or spouse, you know, whatever, to share, then then that connection can be that much deeper. So that vulnerability will be safe. And the deeper the vulnerability, the deeper the connection, in my view. Um and I'm, you know, as I prepare for a future relationship, not that I'm in any rush or hurry for that, um, I am trying to become the best version of myself so that I can attract somebody who's also been working so hard on their best version of themselves. And we can come together as uh hopefully more secure individuals. And maybe we've been able to overcome some of the insecurities, whether it's more anxiously uh avoidant or uh avoidant kind of personality types or characteristics. Those are just some uh of the holistic purposes I'm trying to bring into my own home. And if I can teach my children along the way, um maybe they can make those choices and a little bit uh with a little bit more conviction uh that they know what they need.

Crista Cowan 43:57

Anyway, yeah, I love this because because of my Job as a genealogist. I tend to think in such long-term patterns, right? Like generations and how those ripple effects occur. And to hear you talk about being so intentional. I don't think our grandfathers had the luxury of being that intentional. Certainly not our great-grandfathers, right? You know, World War I, the depression, like they were dealing with survival in so many ways. And we live in such a time where we can be intentional about how we show up as parents, how we show up as family members in whatever role that looks like. And really think about what that means for the next generation. And I think that's a luxury that we've never had before. And so it's really interesting to me that we live in a time when family dynamics are getting so fractured. Yeah. Families are becoming so much more disconnected because we have this luxury of being intentional about the connection. And yet we're fighting against other, you know, we're not fighting for survival. We're not fighting with PTSD from a

Distraction Proof Systems And JoinBecoming

Crista Cowan 45:00

war. We're fighting against a lot of other things. Yeah.

Bubba Page 45:04

This.

Crista Cowan 45:04

Yeah. Yeah.

Bubba Page 45:06

You know, I mean, look, I'm on social media. And so yes, I I utilize social media hopefully to bring light and goodness out there in the world. But talk about distraction. And I'm I look, I'm on it professionally. And yet I'll post something. So I'll work on something that I feel like I've been compelled to share at something I feel like God's telling me I should share with my audience. And then I hit the post button, I feel good, like, all right, hopefully that helps somebody out there. And then the distraction is there. And the temptation to scroll. And you know, I so I have these alarms on my phone that tell me, like, hey, you've you've spent X amount of time on this, make sure to turn it off and go do something else. Because even me who does this professionally can still get caught up with the temptation to just scroll. Yeah. I've had an opportunity to coach and mentor a lot of people over the last decade. And it's specifically over the last year, um, I've been doing it more professionally. And what's been fascinating is most people come to me for business help or as an investor, they want me to help them understand what investors need and and to raise capital. And almost everyone that I've worked with, they'll come to me for business. And within the second or third call, we're always talking about personal issues, whether it's uh, you know, their phone time, whether it's their relationship, whether it's their dynamics at home with their children. And I'm the first to say I'm not a therapist, but but I have lived a life that I feel like I can share. And I've built frameworks that when you have to raise eight children, you have to have, you know, structure in place, or it's way too chaotic. And so, you know, building systems and frameworks and processes to help structure your own life, make sure your tasks are getting uh taken out of here and putting into a system, making sure they're getting accomplished. So what's been fascinating is I've been working on this project. We talked about it just before the cameras started rolling. JoinBecoming.com. By the time this airs, I hope it's live. Joinbecoming.com is essentially what I felt like I've been mentoring and coaching people for the last decade in an application, in an app that they can download on their phone or their device. The hope is that this planning that we're talking about, this intentionality that we're talking about, the the ability to have reminders, hey, and prompts. Hey, you had these things on your to-do list and you prioritize them, and we help them to do that through AI, you put them on your calendar, did you accomplish that task? And if you did, it'll update the system for you. Did you take your spouse on a date? If not, let me help you plan that. And there'll be AI support to help you plan that. Did you get to sleep on time, right? It can, you know, at a future time, syncing with your devices to know if you got the right sleep. Because if you're not sleeping and if you're not getting exercise, if you're not eating right, you might not be the best version of yourself to your family or to your spouse or to your employees if you're in a business owner. And so what I found is that the best entrepreneurs and business owners who are living the healthiest lives at home perform the best in business. So even though they came to me for business help or for investor help, we end up working a lot of their life frameworks. And as they nail down these life frameworks, then their business starts to thrive. And uh again, this is something I have felt compelled to do. I talked about fatherhood a lot and and uh you know the the family dynamics, it's built in. There's another piece I've got to share. I've wanted to, for the longest time, send out a message to my audience twice a week that was a prompt for them to talk about with their kids, a life lesson. You know, my son, as we talked about, is 16 years old leaving in two years. Every parent wonders if their child is ready for the real world by the time they leave. And the answer is we don't know. Because we don't know exactly all the things we taught them over their first 18 years of their life. I've I've developed at this in this application, join becoming, a prompt every is twice a week that tells the parent what type of either conversation or questions they could ask their child or a life lesson that they could teach them. So that every week, two times a week, over 52 times a year, over a hundred life lessons or or core questions can they have with an age appropriate, yeah, age appropriate for their children. So by the time their child leaves the house, hopefully, they've now had hundreds of intentional life lessons or question discussions with their children and they can feel comfortable. Did they talk about compound interest with their 14, 15-year-old? Did they talk about the the the perils of pornography with their eight or nine-year-old? Did they talk about the the relationships of healing your heart and becoming a whole person beyond the process of becoming a whole person when you meet someone? I obviously I'm on a soapbox because I'm so passionate. And I feel like in this ancestral discussion, if I'm not teaching my children these principles, who will? Yeah. Are they gonna get it from online? Watching YouTube Shorts, you know, scrolling in Doom, you know, on TikTok? It's my job, it's my duty as a parent. Like these are principles that I hope I can help with join becoming. And the goal is that we can become what God truly meant us to be. Can we become the best parent? Can we become the best entrepreneur? Can we become the best investor or spouse? Um, and uh, you know, talk about a plug. I'm sorry. You're good. I just feel like I'm building this out of passion for trying to help people. Is it going to be the absolute best business I could have put my time and energy into? Maybe not. Hopefully, this can be a generational tool um to give parents what they need to teach their kids, and then everybody can becoming what they need to be.

Crista Cowan 51:08

I love that. I love this because so much of this podcast is about looking back, but I love that you're looking forward and that you're really, again, trying to be intentional, but also I think what I'm hearing is that you have a much longer view than just your kids or your grandkids. Yeah, right. Legacy. And so that concept really that resonates with me is you know, we're the we're the new ancestors, right? Like, and the way that the choices of those who came before us affected us. Our choices right now are affecting a hundred percent. And so, so love that you're building this tool. Um, I I actually I haven't made this announcement publicly yet, but maybe I will have five attend the podcast comes out. Um, so I have a book publishing deal. Oh my god. So I have a book coming out next summer. That's a big deal. It is a huge deal. Congratulations. Thank you. Um, and it's called The Deeply Connected Family. And the whole concept of the book is kind of along your 52 weeks, two questions a week thing. Like, it's what stories are we intentionally crafting from our own lives and from the lives of our ancestors that teach principles or life lessons or help craft a family narrative that says this is who we are. This is who we are as a family, this is who we are as a father and a daughter, this is this is what our relationships look like, this is what our faith looks like, um, because it is so needed right now. So I love that you're coming at this from a technology angle and and and and putting it into practice in your life and and maybe stumbling along the way and trying to figure it out still.

Bubba Page 52:38

Oh, yeah. But if you need a testimonial on the back of that book, I will be happy to write it. I may take you up. Because honestly, uh what you're what you're writing is so incredibly valuable. I can't wait to read it. That's exciting. It is exciting. Count me in. I will, wherever it is, I'll write that testimonial for it.

Crista Cowan 52:54

I'll take you up on it. Well, thank you. Thank you for joining us. Thank you for sharing your your grimpachural. Um, and just the legacy of of music and harmony and moving forward in the world with healing and and connection. I think that's just such a beautiful

One Word One Story Dance

Crista Cowan 53:10

thing. Um, before we go. Yes. Okay. So we have a new segment this season called One Word, One Story. Oh, wow. So we have the story drawer here.

Bubba Page 53:17

Oh my gosh.

Crista Cowan 53:18

And I'm gonna open the story drawer to pull out a word, and uh, you're just gonna tell me what the first story is that pops in your head when I pull out the word. You ready for this?

Bubba Page 53:25

All right, hi. I'm gonna get mentally prepared.

Crista Cowan 53:32

Oh, our word today. This is funny considering our conversation, is dance.

Bubba Page 53:38

All right, all right. So I shared the story of my grandma, so I better move beyond that one because we got that one. Okay, so my daughter, I'm gonna go to my daughter and my daughter and I, um, she came to me and said, as she had a video from online, she said, I really want to learn this trick. And she showed her to me, and it was advanced. Like we're talking professional level, like swinging her body like a helicopter around my body. It is one of the best memories that I have because as we're feeling and you know, going over and over and trying to make this work, I just, you know, one, it was this bonding time. It was just she and I. We're listening to this music in the background and we're trying to figure out how to do this trick. And, you know, I've put on my calendar now a reminder for me to dance with these girls more often than than we traditionally do. And uh, and although it doesn't happen as frequently as I would like, the experience of she and I trying to learn this swing dancing. Fathers, if you're listening, please swing dance with your daughter. And anyway, so that was the immediate thought. Love that is she and so it's on it's on my Bubba Page Instagram. If you scroll back far enough, you can see she and I accomplished this hard task.

Crista Cowan 54:53

I love that.

Bubba Page 54:54

And uh and have such a fun time doing it. So fun.

Crista Cowan 54:57

Okay, here's my story. Oh, um, the first thing that came to mind, this is embarrassing now, now that I'm thinking about this out loud. Uh, so I was an oldest child, and I was not an easy child. Oh, all right. Yeah, yeah. Um strong-willed. Very strong-willed. Thought I knew better. And part of it had to do with actually the way that so my mom um had a lot of hard times with her pregnancies. Um, we ended up having four children. So there's a set of twins that are about three years younger than me. And then about five years after that, a two brothers that came about 18 months apart. Um, but in between all of that, my mother suffered nine miscarriages and she spent a ton of time on bed rest with her pregnancies. And um, and so I was given a lot of responsibility from a really young age. Um, and so by the time I was a young teenager, I felt like I was an adult and did not make it easy on my parents to parent me. And so uh they had this rule that we could not go to school dances until we were 14. And I decided that I did not agree with that rule. And so I snuck out of the house and I went to a school dance.

Bubba Page 56:06

Oh my god.

Crista Cowan 56:07

And somehow my parents knew.

Bubba Page 56:09

Oh, I bet.

Crista Cowan 56:10

And I'm I was dancing with some cute boy, and my parents walked into that school dance and with one on each side of me, escorted me out of the school dance.

Bubba Page 56:21

Oh my god.

Crista Cowan 56:22

And at the time, right, mortified. Of course. Talk of the school for the you know the next week, right? Um, but in retrospect, with adult eyes, um, and having healed a lot of my relationship with my parents, um, like I get it. Like I get out of love. They not just love, but also a little bit of fear too, probably. Like they, um, you know, I grew up outside of Utah. I grew up in a school district where there was a lot of drinking and drugs and like a lot of promiscuity, and like and they just knew that I was too young to be in that environment because I was not emotionally mature enough yet to handle it, and to be able to stand up for myself and say no. And, you know, and I I so desperately wanted to be liked. And I mean, like again, like in the moment.

Bubba Page 57:07

Oh, mortified. Mortified. Of course.

Crista Cowan 57:09

Um, but as an adult, so grateful that they just showed up and took care of me and protected me when I needed to be protected. So, yes, whenever the the word dance.

Bubba Page 57:19

I love that your parents loved you enough to embarrass you in front of all of your friends.

Crista Cowan 57:24

The whole school. Okay. Well, if you are playing along from home, one word, one story, leave in the comments, let me know what is your story that came to mind as soon as you heard the word dance. Well, Baba, thank you. Oh, thanks for having me. It's good to get to know you. Um, I'm excited to see how your business venture goes and to support you in that in any way I can. Let's go. Thank you. You're you're so welcome. Studio sponsored by Ancestry.